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Lotr again (megalo aggliko text in here)


Toufas

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eida tin tainia prin apo 1 vdomada...mia megali metriotita

kamia sxesi me to vivlio...krima...

parte mia version tis tainias edo smile.gif" border="0 <p>LORD OF THE RINGS: BREADBOX EDITION<p>THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS<p>FADE IN (SORT OF):<p>EXT/INT. DARKNESS<p>NARRATOR<p>Once upon a time, Sauron got the great idea of<p>ruling the world via some rings.<p>SAURON, who looks like a kitchen appliance gone horribly wrong, shows off his flashy new jewelry.<p>NARRATOR<p>Not everyone was thrilled with this idea,<p>so there was a war.<p>Lots and lots of ELVES and MEN fighting ORCS. ELROND looks pissy.<p>NARRATOR<p>Sauron had the One Ring and was<p>therefore whacking people left and right.<p>SAURON kicks the a** of ISILDURS FATHER and menaces the hell out of ISILDUR.<p>NARRATOR<p>But, Sauron rather stupidly reached toward<p>Isildur with his Ring hand and Isildur chopped<p>it off.<p>First of many shots of SAURONS FALLING FINGER with THE RING.<p>NARRATOR<p>Isildur could have destroyed it then and there,<p>but nooooo. He was a big dope and kept it.<p>The Ring was not happy with this and quickly<p>arranged Isildurs death.<p>RING calls in A HIT on ISILDUR. ISILDUR gets jumped by an ORC but somehow ends up in a RIVER with arrows in his back. RING ends up UNDERWATER.<p>RING<p>Well, this is inconvenient.<p>NARRATOR<p>And everyone pretty much forgot about the<p>extremely important war.<p>GOLLUM goes swimming and picks up a GIANT PEARL, I mean, THE RING.<p>NARRATOR<p>The Ring did wonders for Gollums social life.<p>GOLLULM<p>Precioussss.<p>RING<p>Hoo boy.<p>BILBO finds THE RING. GOLLUM freaks.<p>NARRATOR<p>Which brings us toNow.<p>EXT. THE HAPPY, PERKY SHIRE<p>FRODO<p>Hi there. Im extremely adorable.<p>GANDALF rides up, singing the only poem they bothered to write a tune for.<p>GANDALF<p>Hello, Frodo. Why dont I<p>not tell you things.<p>FRODO laughs. It would behoove the AUDIENCE to remember this sound, as they will never hear it again.<p>GANDALF randomly drops off FRODO and goes to see BILBO.<p>BILBO<p>Im going to say some vaguely<p>disturbing things while Gandalf<p>engages in some slapstick.<p>GANDALF smacks his HEAD.<p>GANDALF<p>Lets have a smoke.<p>AUDIENCE<p>I was gonna go research the Ring<p>But then I got high.<p>I was gonna destroy the bloody thing<p>But then I got high.<p>Now the world is in imminent danger<p>And I know why.<p>Because I got high, because I got high,<p>Because I got high.<p>EXT. THE HAPPY, PERKY PARTY<p>BILBO<p>We need to make several clever<p>references to The Hobbit.<p>MERRY and PIPPIN do something stupid, thus establishing themselves as COMIC RELIEF.<p>BILBO<p>Now, I will make an insulting speech<p>that no one will understand<p>because you can barely add fractions.<p>God, Im clever.<p>BILBOS EGO implodes, causing him to DISAPPEAR.<p>GANDALF<p>Oh, for heavens sake.<p>GANDALF berates BILBO for wanting to keep THE RING.<p>BILBO<p>Remember those vaguely disturbing<p>things I said earlier? Now Im going to<p>say some blatantly disturbing things.<p>GANDALF talks BILBO down by putting on a LIGHT SHOW, or more to the point, A SHADOW SHOW.<p>BILBO<p>Okay, I wont do that freaky thing<p>with my eyes again.<p>GANDALF<p>Leave the Ring for Frodo. Im sure<p>he wont mind having to keep the<p>evil object.<p>BILBO goes off, also singing the only poem they bothered to write a tune for.<p>BILBO<p>The Road goes ever on and on<p>Down from the door where it began<p>Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm<p>BORK, BORK, BORK!<p>GANDALF<p>Im going to wait for Frodo to come<p>home so I can not tell him things.<p>FRODO<p>Im home! Why do we keep having<p>extreme close-ups of Bilbos ring?<p>GANDALF<p>I cant tell you that.<p>GANDALF rides off to the CGI CITY OF MINAS TIRITH to have a FLASHBACK of the FLASHBACK.<p>EXT. THE CGI CITY OF BARAD-DUR<p>GOLLUM<p>ShireBaggins!<p>The EXCESSIVELY CREEPY BLACK RIDERS go off looking for someone named SHIRE in the land of BAGGINS.<p>EXT. THE HAPPY, PERKY, BUT NOT FOR MUCH LONGER, SHIRE<p>FRODO<p>La, la, la. Life is good. Nothing<p>can possibly go wrong.<p>GANDALF<p>BOO!<p>FRODO<p>Oh, s--t.<p>GANDALF<p>The Ring is evil.<p>RING<p>Hey, Im in the room!<p>GANDALF<p>You have to go. Gollum told<p>everyone.<p>GANDALF shows us a FLASHBACK we didnt need to see.<p>GANDALF<p>Im going to see the obviously<p>evil Saruman.<p>FRODO<p>Thats great. Im sure youll<p>be captured and Ill waste time<p>waiting for you.<p>GANDALF<p>HmmYou cant go alone, so<p>GANDALF pulls SAM from thin air.<p>SAM<p>Ack! Gardening! At night!<p>GANDALF<p>Whatever. I need someone<p>to obsess about Frodo.<p>SAM<p>Im your man.<p>GANDALF goes off to get captured and FRODO and SAM go off to find MERRY and PIPPIN doing something stupid.<p>FRODO<p>The excessively creepy black rider is<p>coming! Hide!<p>BLACK RIDER<p>Dammit, why cant I find this<p>Baggins place?<p>RING<p>Hey, you! Im down here!<p>Frodo, put on the Ring!<p>FRODO looks adorable while fighting off the RING.<p>BLACK RIDER gets frustrated and screams like the SUBWAY ARRIVING.<p>THE HOBBITS run like hell to the FERRY.<p>BLACK RIDER<p>Hey! You! Can I get directions?<p>FRODO<p>Argh!<p>BLACK RIDER<p>Wait! I need help here!<p>FRODO leaps five whole feet onto the FERRY.<p>INT. ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN<p>GANDALF<p>I need your help.<p>SARUMAN<p>Blegh. I vant to suck your blood.<p>GANDALF<p>Despite your creepy demeanor, Im going<p>to reveal some secrets.<p>SARUMAN<p>I work for Sauron.<p>GANDALF<p>You are the wisest of the Wise.<p>SARUMAN<p>Im evil.<p>GANDALF<p>I trust you implicitly.<p>SARUMAN<p>Ill make you break dance.<p>GANDALF<p>You ARE evil!<p>GANDALF and SARUMAN have a really silly looking fight.<p>EXT. THE TOWNSHIP OF BREE<p>FRODO<p>Gandalf isnt here. I wonder why.<p>MERRY<p>Lets get drunk!<p>PIPPIN<p>I see no reason why not.<p>RING<p>Those damn Ringwraiths are lost again.<p>Frodo, put me on so the Eye can<p>give them directions.<p>FRODO<p>Ack! Now I must look sad and tormented.<p>And adorable.<p>PIPPIN does something stupid. FRODO goes to stop him and, OOPS!, falls. RING lands directly on his finger. <p>RING<p>Score! I thought that was going to<p>take weeks!<p>FRODO appears in the FREAKY-DEAKY world of DARKNESS.<p>EYE OF SAURON<p>ROAR! IMy god, your eyes are blue!<p>FRODO<p>Well, I am adorable.<p>BLACK RIDERS<p>Oh, so it was someone named Baggins<p>in the land of Shire!<p>BLACK RIDERS scream like NAILS ACROSS A BLACKBOARD.<p>FRODO pulls off the RING just in time to be molested by STRIDER.<p>STRIDER<p>Theres been enough adorability.<p>Time for some rugged handsomeness<p>from Strider the Ranger.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Tyrannosaurus Rex!<p>SAM<p>Frodos been out of my sight for three seconds!<p>STRIDER<p>Ive come to guide you to the next plot point.<p>We need to set it up so the audience thinks<p>the Black Riders are killing you, while you<p>are actually somewhere safe with me.<p>BLACK RIDERS stab beds, while shots of SAM are shown. INFANTS and SMALL DOGS are not fooled. BLACK RIDERS scream like a CARNIVAL RIDE COMING TO A COMPLETE STOP.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Enough already!<p>STRIDER<p>Oh, my name is actually Aragorn.<p>FRODO<p>You didnt pretend it was Strider for<p>very long.<p>ARAGORN<p>Well, multiple names are cumbersome.<p>Just ask Mithrandir.<p>SAM<p>Who?<p>EXT. WEATHERTOP A.K.A., THE NEXT PLOT POINT<p>ARAGORN<p>Im going to conveniently wander off.<p>FRODO<p>Im going to conveniently go to sleep.<p>Without supervision, PIPPIN immediately does something stupid.<p>BLACK RIDERS<p>Oh, there they are!<p>AUDIENCE

You guys arent very bright, are you?<p>BLACK RIDERS surround the HOBBITS. Its all very creepy and scary. FRODO falls.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Oh, for the love of<p>BLACK RIDER stabs FRODO.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Noooo! Will his cuteness suffer?<p>FRODO<p>No, Im just going to get cloudy contacts,<p>varicose veins and start making funny<p>noises, but Ill still be the cutest thing<p>youve ever seen.<p>ARAGORN manages to show up.<p>SAM<p>Its about time.<p>ARAGORN<p>Sorry, traffic.<p>ARAGORN whups the BLACK RIDERS with fire.<p>BLACK RIDERS<p>Fire bad!<p>There is one BLACK RIDER left. ARAGORN throws the burning brand in his face.<p>BLACK RIDER<p>Well, Ill just be going then.<p>EXT. THE ENCHANTED WOODS<p>GLORFINDEL<p>Well, its just about time for<p>me to go save Frodo.<p>Suddenly, a SHOVEL thwacks GLORFINDEL across the back of his head. ARWEN is shown holding the SHOVEL.<p>ARWEN<p>Sorry, Glory. Its my time.<p>ARWEN unceremoniously dumps his body in a ditch somewhere with that of TOM BOMBADIL.<p>ARWEN<p>Hi, honey. Im here to save you.<p>ARAGORN<p>Arwen! Im glad to see you.<p>But, wheres Glorfindel?<p>ARWEN surreptitiously kicks some dirt on the bodies.<p>ARWEN<p>Beats me.<p>ARAGORN<p>Oh well. Can you save Frodo?<p>ARWEN<p>Like, fer sure!<p>ARWEN grabs FRODO and rides like hell.<p>BLACK RIDERS<p>Hey, you cant take him! We stamped<p>him ourselves!<p>ARWEN<p>Like, come get him, dorkwads!<p>ARWEN steals her FATHERS JOB and starts the flood herself.<p>BLACK RIDERS<p>ARGH! First fire, now water!<p>Nature sucks!<p>FRODO passes out and has TRIPPY DREAMS about architecture.<p>INT. THE OVERBLOWN ELF CITY OF RIVENDELL<p>FRODO<p>No, I hate Baroque! What?<p>Where am I?<p>GANDALF<p>Hi, Frodo.<p>FRODO<p>Gandalf! Where the hell were you?<p>GANDALF has a FLASHBACK.<p>EXT. ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN<p>SARUMAN beats up on GANDALF.<p>SARUMAN<p>Idiot! Of course Im evil!<p>But, because Gandalf can speak MOTH, he catches a ride on one of the BIG-a** EAGLES OF MIDDLE-EARTH.<p>END FLASHBACK<p>FRODO<p>UmGandalf? Hello?<p>GANDALF<p>Im sorry, what? You know I cant<p>tell you anything. Say hello to Elrond.<p>3000 years later, ELROND still looks pissy.<p>GANDALF<p>And Bilbo.<p>BILBO looks like hes been put in an OVEN for a while.<p>FRODO<p>Wow, you got old quick.<p>BILBO<p>Its one of those vaguely disturbing things<p>from the beginning.<p>FRODO gets some brief happiness before the really depressing part of the movie begins.<p>GANDALF<p>Now what?<p>ELROND<p>Now we will have a flashback to explain<p>why I look so pissy all the time.<p>The FLASHBACK of the FLASHBACK starts again, this time from ELRONDS POV. ISILDUR refuses to give up THE RING. Again.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Yes, we know.<p>EXT. THE OVERBLOWN ELF CITY OF RIVENDELL<p>LEGOLAS and UNIMPORTANT ELVES arrive.<p>GIMLI and UNIMPORTANT DWARVES arrive.<p>BOROMIR and THE OLD GUYS OF GONDOR arrive.<p>BOROMIR studies the picture of SAURON offering to make ISILDUR Julian fries with his headgear. Then, BOROMIR disrespects the SWORD-THAT-WAS-BROKEN that others obviously revere.<p>BOROMIR<p>There, I think that establishes some<p>tension between Aragorn and myself.<p>ARWEN<p>Dont let him get to you honey.<p>Lets have a saccharine moment.<p>AUDIENCE<p><pukes><p>INT. THE NOT-SO-SECRET COUNCIL OF ELROND<p>BOROMIR<p>I will further establish myself as trouble.<p>LEGOLAS<p>I will go on the offense.<p>GIMLI<p>I will get indignant.<p>ELROND<p>We must get rid of the Ring.<p>RING<p>Just try it, Pissy Boy.<p>GIMLI tries to break the RING, but only succeeds in shattering his AX and giving FRODO a headache.<p>ELROND<p>The Ring can only be destroyed where <p>it was made. In Mordor.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Thats convenient.<p>ELROND<p>So, who wants to die?<p>FRODO<p>Ill go. Better than listening to<p>The Ring reciting that damn poem<p>over and over again.<p>GANDALF<p>Youll need an old guy.<p>LEGOLAS<p>And my ability to be delicious without<p>being fey.<p>GIMLI<p>AUCH! And my accent.<p>ARAGORN<p>I must go to assuage my self-doubt.<p>BOROMIR<p>Well, you need some conflict, so<p>Ill go too.<p>SAM<p>And if I lose sight of Frodo, Ill panic.<p>MERRY AND PIPPIN<p>Hey, youll need comic relief!<p>ELROND

At least well only lose one elf.<p>INT. BILBOS ROOM<p>BILBO<p>Do you think I could possibly,<p>you know, see the Ring?<p>FRODO<p>Im not sure if thats such a good<p>BILBO spontaneously turns into GOLLUM.<p>AUDIENCE<p>HOLY s--t!<p>FRODO<p>Okay, time to leave.<p>EXT. PLACES THEY ARENT GOING<p>GANDALF<p>We cant go this way.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Well, that was a waste of time.<p>EXT. ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN<p>SOME ORC<p>What does The Eye want now?<p>SARUMAN<p>We need to create the mutant from Small<p>Soldiers and pull down some trees to<p>guarantee the animosity of the Ents.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Cut your nails!<p>EXT. MORIA, OR THE REALLY BAD PLACE<p>GANDALF cant figure out how to open a door.<p>PIPPIN does something stupid and attracts the attention of EVIL.<p>SAM says goodbye to BILL THE PONY, worlds most underrated character.<p>FRODO figures out the riddle that GANDALF missed and the door opens.<p>AUDIENCE<p><throws their arms in the air><p>Turns out, there are LOTS O DEAD PEOPLE in MORIA.<p>BOROMIR<p>This is not encouraging.<p>AN EVIL THING immediately goes after FRODO.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Its the giant squid from<p>20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!<p>GIANT SQUID traps everyone in MORIA.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Thats convenient.<p>LOTS OF DARK SHOTS.<p>FRODO<p>Hey, isnt that Gollum?<p>Too bad hes not dead.<p>GANDALF<p>Dont be judgmental.<p>FRODO<p>Yeah, but if Gollum were dead, Mordor<p>wouldnt know we had the Ring and<p>all this would be a moot point.<p>GANDALF<p>Shut up. Hes some part yet to play.<p>AUDIENCE<p><bites at the air><p>GIMLI discovers the BODY OF A KINSMAN and get EMOTIONAL.<p>LEGOLAS<p>Mustmoveon.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Really.<p>PIPPIN does something stupid and attracts the attention of EVIL.<p>ORCS appear for the FIGHT SCENE. CAMERA switches to BLAIR-WITCH-O-VISION.<p>NINE PEOPLE utterly kick the asses of dozens of ORCS.<p>CAVE TROLL bursts through the door.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Argh, Harry Potter flashbacks!<p>YET ANOTHER EVIL THING goes immediately for FRODO.<p>FRODO gets stabbed.<p>EVERYONE ELSE<p>Nooooo!<p>AUDIENCE<p>Not again!<p>Filled with RAGE at FRODOS death, EVERYONE attacks the CAVE TROLL. Which dies. Twenty minutes later.<p>FRODO<p>Im not quite dead yet.<p>EVERYONE runs like hell. They are pursued by the EVIL, RED LIGHT.<p>GANDALF<p>Come on, today folks!<p>EVERYONE runs like hell down the WINDING STAIRS. GIMLI thinks he can make a twenty-foot leap. Right.<p>The EVIL, RED LIGHT catches up with them. Its a BALROG.<p>GANDALF<p>Aw, hell.<p>GANDALF stops on the NARROW BRIDGE to keep the BALROG from following.<p>BALROG<p>Screw Gandalf! Wheres this Ralph<p>Bakshi guy?<p>GANDALF<p>None shall pass.<p>GANDALF takes the BRIDGE out. BALROG falls to its demise.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Does that thing have wings? If<p>so, why doesnt it just fly?<p>BALROG takes GANDALF out.<p>GANDALF<p>I can manage to be insulting moments<p>away from death.<p>ARAGORN and BOROMIR drag FRODO away from making a FOOL of HIMSELF.<p>ARAGORN<p>Time to run like hell again.<p>EXT. THE EVEN MORE ENCHANTED WOOD<p>HALDIR<p>Stupid dwarf.<p>GIMLI<p>AUCH! I must get indignant again!<p>CELEBORN<p>Im a non-entity. Feel free to ignore me.<p>GALADRIAL<p>Im creepy, vaguely threatening, not respecting<p>of others mental autonomy and I look like<p>Joan Osborn.<p>GALADRIAL creeps out FRODO.<p>INT. THE ENCHANTED VILLAGE OF THE EVEN MORE ENCHANTED WOOD<p>GALADRIAL wanders by.<p>AUDIENCE<p>What if God was one of us?<p>FRODO follows GALADRIAL to check out her MIRROR, VANITY and DRESSING TABLE.<p>GALADRIAL<p>Mwhahaha. Want to see something<p>really scary?<p>THE EYE OF SAURON shows up again.<p>EYE OF SAURON<p>Hello? Anyone out there?<p>FRODO<p>My life is going to be miserable, isnt it?<p>GALADRIAL<p>You can take one friend with you, and you <p>still have your adorability.<p>FRODO<p>Thats true. Do you want the Ring?<p>I feel obligated to ask everyone I meet.<p>GALADRIAL also puts on a LIGHT AND SHADOW SHOW.<p>GALADRIAL<p>Nope.<p>EXT. ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN<p>SARUMAN gives an inspirational pep talk to his ORCS.<p>SARUMAN<p>Give em hell in the fourth quarter!<p>EXT. THE RIVER<p>ARAGORN<p>Thanks for the boats!<p>GALADRIAL gives FRODO light from a STAR and shows off her MANICURE.<p>GALADRIAL<p>Same guy who does Saruman.<p>MANY NICE NEW ZEALAND RIVER SHOTS.<p>ARAGORN<p>Look at the Argonath!<p>THE ARGONATH<p>Stop! In the Name of Love!<p>LEGOLAS<p>We need to stop so Boromir can attack<p>Frodo and so Gimli can rest.<p>GIMLI<p>AUCH! Indignation!<p>EXT. THE SHORE<p>FRODO<p>Im going off alone!<p>ARAGORN<p>Later.<p>AUDIENCE<p>Frodos not too bright either.<p>RING<p>Psst. Boromir. Cmere.<p>BOROMIR<p>Hey, Frodo. Whats up? I was<p>wondering<p>BOROMIR jumps FRODO. FRODO uses the RING to escape.<p>BOROMIR<p>Doh!<p>FRODO runs like hell through the FREAKY-DEAKY world of DARKNESS. THE EYE OF SAURON makes him fall. ARAGORN manages to show up.<p>FRODO<p>Im leaving. Alone.<p>ARAGORN<p>What did that moron Boromir do?<p>FRODO<p>Never mind. Orcs!<p>CAMERA switches to BLAIR-WITCH-O-VISION again.<p>There is an EXTENDED FIGHT SEQUENCE while FRODO runs away. Alone.<p>ARAGORN, LEGOLAS and GIMLI kick serious a**.<p>BOROMIR tries to protect MERRY and PIPPIN. He does a poor job and REFUSES to DIE. AUDIENCE is either IMPRESSED or LAUGHING.<p>ARAGORN saves BOROMIR. Sort of.<p>BOROMIR<p>Aragorn. I always loved you.<p>ARAGORN<p>Um<p>BOROMIR finally DIES.<p>FRODO is ELSEWHERE, trying to escape alone. SAM is too paranoid and too crafty and manages to catch up.<p>SAM<p>I cant let you leave my sight!<p>FRODO<p>Oh, for the love of<p>FRODO saves SAM from DROWNING.<p>THE MOMENT<p>Hi there. Have some emotion.<p>Ive got plenty for all.<p>THE MOVIE ENDS.<p>AUDIENCE<p>WHAT!? NOW?!<p>FRODO<p>Unless you want to sit through<p>another six hours.<p>AUDIENCE<p>YES!<p>ENYA ON SOUNDTRACK<p>HmmI just got my tranquilizer prescription<p>refilled. Must be time to write another album.<p>[ 06-02-2002: Το μήνυμα επεξεργάστηκε από: Toufas ]</p>

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Re paidia asteio to keimeno, den leo alla den mporeite na xaraktirizete tin tainia METRIOTITA!!<p>Ksero oti kathenas exei tin gnomi tou gia mia tainia, i opoia panta einai ypokeimeniki, alla exo varethei na akouo oti "se sxesi me to vivlio..metria". Den eimai apo aytous pou exoun diavasei to vivlio(akoma wink.gif" border="0 ) alla pisteyo pos i tainia DEn prepei na krinetai se antiparavoli me to vivlio....<p>Opoios perimene na dei oti diavase kai sto vivlio, as ekane oikonomia 2500, kai as to diavaze akoma mia fora, anti na paei na dei tin tainia sto cinema!

Pisteyo pos i tainia prepei na krinetai arxika gia ayto pou einai : TAINIA. Kai an den arese se kapoion, pou einai apolitos logiko, toulaxiston prepei na anagnorisoume to poso "epiki" itan i oli paragogi. Kai oxi mono apopopsi xrimaton.

Ayta.<p>PS:Ta lefta apo tin Warner tha ta paro argotera. Opoios me ypostiriksei exei meridio !! grin.gif" border="0 grin.gif" border="0

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thelw ena 15% gia arxi INDio

symfwnw kai epayksanw loipon

egw exw diabasei to biblio sto gymnasio..

mathainontas oti bgainei i tainia stoys kinimatografoys ekana mia epanalipsi gia na exw pliri eikona...<p>ENA tha pw...i metafora toy biblioy stin MEGALI othoni itan i kalyteri dynati.....oxi perita...oxi metriotites....

to klima....oi xaraktires.....to story....den exasan tipote....TIPOTE apolytws....!!<p>estw ki an eginan prosthaferaiseis stin tainia..allwste opws eipe kai o prolallisas...einai TAINIA kai etsi ofeilei na tin antimetwpisei o kathenas....<p>

alliws re palikaria den tha legotan tainia...afigisi biblioy tha legotan me eikones...<p>

den thelw sxolia gia to nick....eimai fanatikos...(fainete e?)<p>b happy

frodo

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