Αγαπημένες ατάκες από Monty Python

[HaTHoR]

Ποια η αγαπημένη σας ατάκα από Monty Python; (Και απ'τη σειρά και απ'τις ταινίες)

 

Εκτός από τις πιο κλασικές (που σίγουρα θα αναφερθούν παρακάτω):

 

- Morning.

- Morning.

- What have you got, then?

- Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage, and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon, and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage, and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon, and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg, and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, and spam; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy, and a fried egg on top and spam.

 

"I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off."

 

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

 

"It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff.

Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's metabolic processes are now history! He's

off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!"

 

- Good evening. I have with me in the studio tonight one of the country's leading skin specialists, Raymond Luxury Yacht

- That's not my name!

- I'm sorry; Raymond Luxury Yatscht.

- No no no, it's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throatwobbler Mangrove".

- You are a very silly man, and I'm not going to interview you. [Gets up and leaves]

 

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

 

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

 

Black Knight: I'm invincible!!!

King Arthur: You're a looney.

 

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place."

 

King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for this night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

Frenchman: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see.

King Arthur: What?

Sir Galahad: He says they've already got one!

King Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?

Frenchman: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a. [to other Frenchmen] I told him we already got one. [they snicker in a very French manner]

King Arthur: Well, uh... Can we come up and have a look?

Frenchman: Of course not! You are English types.

King Arthur: Well, what are you then?

Frenchman: I'm French! Why do you zink I have zis outrageous accent, you silly king?

 

"Fetchez la vache!"

 

Αυτά εκτός απ'αυτά που στάνταρ θα ποστάρετε εσείς... αν συνεχίσω δε θα τελειώσω ποτέ

[Material_Defender_1032]

Announcer: And now for something completely different.

 

Mrs. Premise: I just spent four hours burying the cat.

Mrs. Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?

Mrs. Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.

 

Rustic Shepherd: It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet.

 

Voiceover: What exactly are the commercial possibilities for flying sheep?

 

Michael Palin: Mount Everest: forbiding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world.

 

Cardinal Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

 

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

 

French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

 

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?

The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.

Large Man with Dead Body: Why?

The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

 

Knight 1: We are the Knights who say... NI.

 

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.

Knight 2: NI.

Other Knights: Shh...

Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.

 

 

Anyway, pythons RULEZ .-

 

Material Defender 1032

[silencer51]

Τα multiple postings μου φέρνουν στο μυαλό:

 

"Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened tonight on "It's the Mind" we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've...

 

Anyway, tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange -

 

Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we someti... mes get... that... we've lived through something..."

 

etc. etc.

[Επισκέπτης]

1)

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.

He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,

Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

 

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,

Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;

To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;

And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

 

His head smashed in and his heart cut out

And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged

And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off

And his pen--

 

-THAT'S enough music for now lads!

 

2)

 

Brian: You are all individuals!

Crowd: Yes! We are all individuals!

Brian: You are all different!

Crowd: Yes! We are all different!

Man: I'm not...

[petros1815]

The funniest joke in the world:

"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput."

[Panahs]

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.

Knight 2: NI.

Other Knights: Shh...

Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm".

 

 

 

Αθάνατοι Monty Python!!!

[Toufas]

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I...I am no longer infected.

Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.

[paredwse]

BRIAN: What will they do to me?

BEN: Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion.

BRIAN: Crucifixion?!

BEN: Yeah, first offence.

 

Αυτός ο διάλογος με ξεκαρδίζει κάθε φορά...

[LL_NEO]

επειδή σου βάζει ιδέες για τιμωρίες μελών να υποθέσω;

[HaTHoR]

BBC Announcer: We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

 

Judge: Michael Norman Randall, you have been found guilty of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster, Charles Patrick Trumpington, Marcel Agnes Bernstein, Lewis Anona Rudd, John Malcolm Kerr, Nigel Sinclair Robinson, Norman Arthur Potter, Felicity Jayne Stone, Jean Paul Reynard, Rachel Shirly Donaldson, Stephen Jay Greenblatt, Karl Heinz Muller, Belinda Anne Ventham, Juan Carlos Fernandez, Thor Olaf Stensgaard, Lord Kimberley of Pretoria, Lady Kimberley of Pretoria, The Right Honourable Nigel Warmsley Kimberley, Robert Henry Noonan, and Felix James Bennett, on or about the morning of the 19th December 1972. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?

Mr. Randall: Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.

 

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.

Black Knight: Yes I have.

King Arthur: *Look*!

Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

 

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?

Peasant: Well, she turned me into a newt!

Sir Bedevere: A newt?

Peasant: ... I got better.

Crowd: Burn her anyway!

 

"Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth!"

 

Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

[mert]

Βασικά όλο το Life of Brian έχει τις ατάκες σε κάθε στιγμή του έργου.

Η σάτηρα σε όλο της το μεγαλείο.

 

And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats.

 

απο το Meaning of Life.

[shawn]

Η απίστευτη σκηνή που στο "Holy Grail" πρέπει να απαντήσουν σε 3 ερωτήσεις του bridge keeper για να περάσουν τη γέφυρα.

Δεν είναι τόσο θέμα ατάκας όσο σκηνής:

 

BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your name?

ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.

BRIDGEKEEPER:What is your quest?

ARTHUR:To seek the Holy Grail.

BRIDGEKEEPER:What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

ARTHUR:What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

BRIDGEKEEPER: Er ... I don't know that ... Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

 

BRIDGEKEEPER is cast into the gorge.

[The_Edge]

Αυτές οι 2 σκηνές από το Life of Brian με τρελλαίνουν !!

 

[a line of prisoners files past a jailer]

Coordinator: Crucifixion?

Prisoner: Yes.

Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

[Next prisoner]

Coordinator: Crucifixion?

Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.

Coordinator: What?

Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.

Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.

Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...

Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

 

 

 

Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.

The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!

Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!

The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!

Brian: You're all different!

The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!

Man in crowd: I'm not...

The Crowd: Sch!

[Επισκέπτης]

Τη δευτερη σκηνή που περιγράφει ο Edge την είχα γράψει και εγώ. Τι απέγινε; Γιατί μπορεί να σβήστηκε κάτι τέτοιο; Άβυσσος η ψυχή του moderator...

[KaizerSoze]

Mπορει καποιος να θυμηθει απο το Λαιφ οφ Μπραιαν που πανε να πεταξουν πετρες στην πορνη και γινεται το σκηνικο με το "Τζαχοβα" που λεει ο ιερεας και τελικα τις πετανε στον ιερεα?